Sexual Health

Sunday February 3, 2008

 

A lesser man

PRIOR to seeking medical help, Lim, a 55-year-old male, had begun to feel less of a man because his erections were no longer as hard as they used to be. Over the past year, he had begun to have difficulty in maintaining an erection that was sufficiently hard for sexual intercourse.  

Aside from his own sexual frustration, Lim was also concerned that he would no longer be able to satisfy his wife of 30 years. Because he was ashamed of his condition, he opted not to broach the subject with his wife – instead, he became more distant from her and brushed off any attempts she made to talk about their relationship. 

Indeed, Lim became a very angry man as he raged against the unfairness of his condition. He couldn’t understand his inability to get and sustain an erection as he had always enjoyed good health and had never been a smoker or much of a drinker.  

After suffering in silence for several months, Lim plucked up the nerve to visit a doctor, who diagnosed him with erectile dysfunction.  

It’s a topic that isn’t mentioned in polite society too often – perhaps because of its rather sensitive nature – but erectile dysfunction (ED) is not as rare as you may think it to be. Indeed, it is said to affect between 13% and 28% of men aged from 40 to 80 years worldwide.  

To all intents and purposes, erectile dysfunction is characterized as the inability to attain and/or maintain an erection sufficient for satisfactory sexual intercourse. Indeed, the ability to achieve an erection sufficiently hard for penetration is seen as the treatment goal for ED. 

Let’s face it – sex isn’t the same after you hit middle age. Dr Rosie King, Australian sex therapist and relationship counselor, says: “Men tend to find getting an erection, pardon the pun, harder than it used to be. Coupled with that is the fact that they enjoy less intense orgasms and take a longer time before they can think of having sex again.  

“It isn’t plain sailing for women either. Most women need an average of 15 to 20 minutes to become aroused but an older woman needs even more time. Her sexual responses slow down as she ages and her orgasm is less intense too,” Dr King said. 

Despite this gloom and doom, sex remains important to a relationship. Indeed, for most men (like our case study Lim), the ability to achieve a hard erection defines their masculinity. The inability to obtain and maintain a firm erection is associated with a sense of emasculation. It also has marked effects on confidence, self-esteem and relationships. 

ED may be linked to psychological, hormonal, neurological or vascular causes. Whatever the reason, it undoubtedly affects overall sexual satisfaction – as apparent by the results of the Pfizer Global Better Sex Survey.  

One of the survey’s findings indicated that 64% of men worldwide believed that erection hardness was “very important” to a good sexual experience. Somewhat shockingly, the GBSS also indicated that only 38% of men were satisfied with the hardness of their erections.  

The fairer sex tends to see erection hardness as a big deal too – the GBSS indicated that 50% of women felt that erection hardness was important to a good sexual experience while only 36% were satisfied by the hardness of their partners’ erections. 

Consultant urologist Dr Peter Ng said that men who suffered from ED needed to seek medical help for their condition. “There is no doubt that erection hardness is important. It is linked to satisfaction with life, love and romance as well as overall health.  

“Aside from getting the drugs that could help them with their erection problems, healthcare professionals can provide counselling on a variety of subjects.  

“For example, men like Lim can be taught to modify negative sexual thoughts and attitudes while learning how to improve communication with their partners. Seeking help is the first step to rekindling your sex life,” he said.